"This made mother look pale but she said, "We will obey you baba," The ritual will be performed at night till then you can rest in the room, my man will show to you."He gestured to man who asked us to follow him. He took us to an empty room; leaving us there he left. As soon as he went away I asked mother to think again about the whole affair. I wanted to leave that place but my mother insisted on staying. As the night approached a man came and told us to wear white dresses before going again to Tantri baba. We had no option but to obey. This time we were taken to another room that had a huge ritual place in its centre. The room was lit with brass lamps and bright flowers were spread over the place of ritual. Inside the room tantri baba was present with a few assistants including a lady. When he saw us coming he started chanting mantras. With his eyes closed he spoke is terse words. As we stood in front of him he said to some unseen force,"Hey yakshi why do you trouble them. What so. Here I would one day take a walk dressed in my aunts dress, she was very small for here age, and the dress almost fit me. Here I would takea short walk down the street to the park. Here the girl slowly began togrow into a teenager, even though my body was already at that stage. Atnight, I was free to grow in whatever way I could. In the night, I didn'thave to worry so much. The sun was gone and it seemed all hurt faded with it.I called an info-line, trying to figure out what I could do. I was scared andstill a little ashamed, but I was able to get information on some localresources. They sent me a packet of information. But I set that aside when Ifound a book at the library.I read Canary, an autobiography of a Transsexual. To read that, to read her story pushed the dream into reality. I read it deep in the night, with mybedroom door closed. My heart sang in praise and admiration of her. I readthat book over and over again. No words in the English language described howI felt when I.
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